Sometime, I wish I could begin again. When life dishes out more than I can bear, I pray for a new start, a new beginning. That is where I am right now. My life has taken many turns in the last year. Most have been extremely challenging and some we are still trying to push through. I have learned much during this time in my life. I have learned things about my strength, my weaknesses, my faith, and my love for my family. I am still learning as I write this. I have found great comfort in reading about my faith these days. It is amazing what can be felt during a quiet session with the Lord. I have also been called to begin writing again. I think that there are times, when we fight our calling, but I have found that the only way to find peace is to accept the path God has laid out for me and follow His direction. A wonderful quote I came across the other day really made an impression on me. "God does not give us what we can handle, God helps us handle what we are given." This is so true, until I read this I struggled daily with all the difficulties that were in my life. I always thought God does not give us more than we can handle, but this idea really never sat right with me. I know how I have felt during this last year, and I know that God knows these things are not easy for anyone to handle. This was such a struggle for me, I continued to ask why, why now, why me, and why my family. I would say to Jesus, You expectations of me are wrong, I am not the person you think I am. Jesus wrong, I don't think so. He knows me better than I know myself. I was the one who was wrong. God did not give me these struggles, these struggles are just because of life, God is there to help me through these struggles so I can learn from them, and learn who I need to turn to in times of despair. Today, I have made my first step in handing my struggles over to the Lord and letting Him guide me in the direction I am intended to take.
This can be a difficult task, but I am ready. Although I do not know what my future holds, I know who holds my future. This statement was in a great book I read and I think that it is such a powerful sentence. A sentence I plan on keeping close to me at all times.